The world is a little less Macho..

I was at the gym on Friday and as I started my workout I saw on the TV screen that the Macho Man had died.  I had my headphones on and I couldnt hear the whole story but I let out a "Oh man that sucks!" loud enough to make the ladies on the treadmills next to me glance my way.



Growing up as a kid this guy and many others were at the top of their game in their respective "sport".  Now Ill admit, back then you couldnt tell me or my buddies anything negative about wrestling.  I wasn't havin' it.  I had to figure it out on my own.  I do believe the day I realized it wasn't all I thought it was was the time Ravishing Rick Rude and Jake 'The Snake' Roberts had a match and I couldnt watch.  Next day I figured Id get the results of who won in the sports section of the LA Times..  Wanna take a guess how that went??



Regardless, I watched for a few years and was taken by all the persona's involved.  Sadly, I think ive devoted a few hours of my life recently researching where all these guys from the past have been and what they are doing now.

Andre the Giant as everyone knows is dead, but if you dig deeper in the late 80's early 90's wrestling pit you find out there are alot of these guys pushing up daisies.

Earthquake?  Dead, died of bladder cancer.
Dino Bravo?  Dead, died of 17 gun shots to the head.  Apparently he screwed over the Canadien mob.  Who knew Canadiens had a mob?
Mr. Perfect? Dead, died of a overdose.
Ravishing Rick Rude?  Dead, died of heart failure due to drug overdose.
Bad News Brown? Dead, died of a heart attack.
Bam Bam Bigelow? Dead, lethal dose of Cocaine.
Big Boss Man? Dead, Heart attack.
Hercules?  (This was the guy who had a name but always lost.)  Dead, Heart attack.
Road Warrior Hawk?  Dead, Heart attack, died in his sleep.
British Bulldog? Dead, Heart attack.
Yokozuna?  Dead, take a wild guess.

It was funny cause I was talking to some buddies and they were like, "Isnt the Ultimate Warrior dead??"  Negativo!!  The UW cannot be killed by conventional means, if he has a heart attack he'll attack his heart right back and go off the top ropes on that thing!  Then power slam it back into rhythm!!  (Ironically enough thats the Macho Man he's about to destroy.)


Anyway, I was legitimately saddened by Randy's passing cause he was probably my favorite wrestler next to the Warrior.  I loved the OH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and his mannerisms and to this day if you can pull off a good impression of the Macho Man you're gonna get a laugh.  I don't watch wrestling anymore and I mock those who are my age and do so but still, there was a time.  Nowadays to me they all look alike, they all use their real names but come to find out, The Undertaker is still in the game!!!  Wow, that guy is a machine.

I suppose him being gone and a bunch of the others is just another small part of my childhood tucked away forever. 



Father time had certainly caught up with Randy and he like many other wrestlers before him just had that old ticker of his give out.  Now he had his attack behind the wheel and he was dead before they hit that tree but I was thankful to know that no one else was hurt and his wife for the most part is ok.  His will stated that he wanted to be cremated with no funeral and have his ashes spread around his favorite tree where he spread his dogs ashes years before.  Not quite what you'd expect but thats what the guy wanted.

Maybe the preacher who predicted the end of the world was right, the rapture came and went like a thief in the night and claimed Macho Madness for heaven..  Heh..

Get to the Choppa!!

Ahnold Ahnold Ahnold..



You sir have been a pop culture icon for decades.  Bodybuilding Legend..  Action Movie Star..  Bad Politician..  And now Adulterer extraordinaire!!  I have read the details and man, how you slept at night is amazing.  This lady worked for Maria and Arnold for 20 years!  Im just curious how all of a sudden he decided to come clean.  I heard this maid would bring this kid over and play with the other kids back in the day.  Did Maria notice a familiarity?  Was he ripped and with a big gap between his teeth and dropped an occasional bad movie line every now and then?

 

I can imagine the Schwarzenegger clanned gathered around singing songs in the governors mansion, the pitter patter of bastard children's feet up and down the hall..

 

 

What gets me is he kept this secret for over a decade and this Maid stayed quiet, I mean kept it on the down low so you know he was cuttin' her a fat check every month.  A little hush money ya know..  So I imagine whether or not Maria was in the room, if her eyes weren't trained on him they would share a glance or a look and just smirk to themselves.  Personally I see Arnold making this face every time Maria had her back to him and he made eye contact with said Staffer..  How was he not thinking "You Eeeeediot!"?

 

Yes now comes the real hard part for him and he is going to get killed by the media, they may in fact try to terminate him.... HEH..  But ya know I give him props for manning up and saying leave my family alone, it was my bad and yes Im in the wrong.  Thats not so easy for one with an ego as big as his.  Personally I think its a european thing, they have a differently mentality when it comes to this sort of thing.  Plus when you looked like this back in the day and had women galore throwing themselves at you, how do you not build up that sense of "I can have anyone and get away with whatever I want."?




I mean is that not ridiculous?  When youre like this do you really think about anyone else?  This takes a focus and a level of narcissism that cant be measured and not even a Kennedy could reel that in forever.






Im just glad he had a boy and not a girl with this woman..
Can you imagine?

Historical pornography...

Have you been subjected to this?  It was my unfortunate experience the other night to have to waste an hour of my life watching this historical telling of the Borgias family and their tale of how they came into power over the church during the renaissance.  First and foremost I have zero interest in this but I was playing on my Ipad and someone else was in control of the TV.  I swear every other scene it was the chamber maid doing this guy and some princess doing this other guy and then I had to have it broken down to me that so and so is betroved to her BUT his brother is nailing her on the side and then later on he kills him..  It went on and on like this.. Then Jeremy Iron starts messing with some broad and I had had enough.. "He's the Pope!!"  I screamed, what kind of pope is this?  "~And now.... I shall invade France..."  Let your imagination soar on that one folks... VOMIT!  I mean there was a scene where a couple went at it in a dining room hall decorated with the stuffed bodies of the Kings enemies..  I was like, Um yeah youre just gonna throw her on that table surrounded by decaying bodies and the obvious stink that comes with it?  I was done, I told my wife to go grab my claritin cause I was having an allergy attack and I yelled "Make Haste Wench!"



This is another one that is out there..  So this one revolves around King Henry the VIII and his debauchery..  Im not gonna dive into this one to much other than its about all his affairs, his multiple wives and lovers, and the Catholic church... What is it with the Catholic church in these things??  Long story short, he dies of Syphilis.. SHOCKER! 



Ok on this one, I actually wanted to watch this, hoping it would be like a 300/Gladiator type thing.. Ya know, blood and carnage and a overcoming insurmountable odds ordeal..  Two episodes into it I lost interest because again, every other scene was some wench getting railed by some dirty warrior...

To me all these shows have nothing interesting to say and the over saturation of gratuitous sex within dilutes any kind of story.  In short, its softcore porn!  I know I know, some of you may be saying, well David what's wrong with that?  Nothing really if youre into that kind of stuff but does every show have to be revolved around it?

It just occured to me, wouldnt it be funny if they created an original series on the life of a porn star but it had NO SEX in it?  It'd probably be due to her not being catholic..