A National Treasure...

Ahh where to begin!  First let me say that I don't dislike Nicholas Cage...  I dislike his last 15 movie choices but I dont dislike the guy..  So I read he got into a quarrel with his wife down in New Orleans and personally I think to much was made of it, some onlooker felt the need to play a hero and called the cops for nothing.  How do I know it was nothing?  I don't but seeing how she wasn't bruised anywhere, refused to press charges and was a former waitress til she pumped out Nick's kid.  Im gonna go out on a limb and say it was just another man and wife having a little lover's spat. 

If you're going to indict Nick Cage and bring him up on charges I suggest you book him on the following..

Exhibit: A your honor..


From the ridiculous script to the really bad hair piece, this movie was trash.  I know of one person who actually liked this movie and its my friends wife.. Sorry Sammy..  Only good thing about this flick was the nicely tanned Eva Mendez..


I went in KNOWING this movie was gonna suck but I dont think its fair for me to fully criticize something I haven't seen or heard so I put myself through it.  Usually movies of this nature put the audience through the torment of world anniliation only to redeem us all in the end with some off the wall sacrifice that gives all of humanity another chance..  NOPE! We all die in this one and a hand full of wacko children are saved and dumped on some other planet with an Adam and Eve metaphoric tree of life ending..  There, I just saved you two hours of your life..  You're welcome.


Ok show of hands, Who didnt DRIVE ANGRY all the way back home after this one??  Anyone?  Anyone?  Its pretty cool how all these bad movies and their titles lead into really easy one liners for me ain't it?


Ok... I can't say anything quick without getting pornographic but you get the picture.  Not only is this movie about an assassin with a set of rules (I know, never been done before right?  Can't believe Jason Statham didnt get this role.)  But also it has the most ignorant name you can give a movie.  If there were to be a sequel what would you call it?  Tokyo Serious?  Moscow Hideous?  Los Angeles Hazardous?  I rest my case.



I know these movie's are clever and make lots of money and I recently read that NT3 is underway but COME ON!  How much shit could Ben Franklin and the rest of our sneaky fore fathers hide from us for centuries???  What's the tagline for this one gonna be?  National Treasure 3: The search for more money..



Again, another bad toupee and an awful script..  I don't think Disney even tries anymore.  They are running out of cartoon fairy tale characters to ruin so now they've moved on to live action abominations like this gem.



Now here's what I think happened, the studios saw the success of these films above and banked on similiar returns.  WRONG.. I break it down for you Hollywood in order.  Gone in 60 seconds was carried by the Cars.  Pure and simple, much like the fast and furious movies that film was all about the cars.  Face Off was more Travolta then anything, remember it was during his late 90s comeback spree when his popularity was at an all time high.  Cage just went along for the ride.  Same thing with The Rock, that was all Connery and Michael Bay and his loud explosions and gripping story... heh.. 

Call me a softy but my all time favorite Nick Cage movie is..



I used to ride my bike down a rural mountain road with my eyes closed and arms out stretched reaching for the sun all the time til I saw this movie.. Probably saved my life!  Thanks Meg Ryan!