Studies show a pill may help...

     Whether its anger issues or depression or whatever I may have issues period.  Things just randomly bother me.  I watch people, I notice habits and even though ive been told in the past by my peers to just "Focus on yourself", I dont.  I hate that.  If I just focus on myself doesnt that make me selfish and uncaring?  Im not a narcissus.. (Did I spell that right?)  Anyway, people who take breaks before their lunch break bother me, women who abuse the rules set at work where dress codes are set bother me.  People who think deodorant should be a choice not a standard practice, bother me.  Its not just work or people I know, it's people I dont know as well.  People who take their babies out in 50 degree weather in nothing but a onesy.  People who drift into my lane while talking on their cell phone bother me.  Cops who pull me over and think im a serial killer from Kansas bother me.. 

I think its my inner Melvin Udall in most cases only I dont feel I suffer from misanthropy because I like people in general, im a people person but I dont like a whole lot of people.  Maybe this is as good as it gets for me.


"Im a disgrace to depression.."  I love this movie because its filled with one liners and im a sucker for a one liner.  There's a specific part where Melvin brings up medication..

Melvin Udall: Don't be pessimistic, it's not your style. Okay, here I go: Clearly, a mistake. I've got this, what - ailment? My doctor, a shrink that I used to go to all the time, he says that in fifty or sixty percent of the cases, a pill really helps. I *hate* pills, very dangerous thing, pills. Hate. I'm using the word "hate" here, about pills. Hate. My compliment is, that night when you came over and told me that you would never... all right, well, you were there, you know what you said. Well, my compliment to you is, the next morning, I started taking the pills.
Carol Connelly: I don't quite get how that's a compliment for me.
Melvin Udall: You make me want to be a better man.

I see that and I wonder, does a pill really make all your bad idiosyncracies go away?  Will it reshape my view on things and not have such disdain for everyday things?  For example and I know Im in the wrong here but... I just want to say, I love my parents.  Love em!  They are both unique individuals who have shaped me into who I am today.  I have my quirks but Im not in prison so YAY MOM and DAD!  Anyway, I always get the call to come over and help my father hang shit up or do something that requires heavy lifting, tape measuring, nailing, hooking up, taking apart, selling online etc.. I hate doing this shit in my own home and avoid it at all costs, what makes you think I wanna stop what Im doing on my day off and come over and do it at your house??  I make the stupid mistake of pointing this out to my mother who comes back with the usual "I gave birth to you and it wasnt easy" speech.. She wins.. I mean what can you say to the bearer of your soul when she plays that trump card?  Plus my parents love to redecorate and take down old shit and buy new shit and then call me because I have the SUV that all this new shit can fit into..  This is why I stopped buying trucks.  I dont wanna help people move nor do I wanna deliver shit that dont fit in the back of the Lexus..  But ok.. I have to be a good son.. The good child..  Just do it I tell myself..  My reward?  I get my pick of the old shit they dont want.  Do I want it?  Not really but ok.

I avoided a huge fight with my mother by just saying to myself that hey shes right, she helps me out all the time, and she does.  So im gonna do the right thing and go pick up her new shit and help her hang it up and tell her it looks great and be on my way.. What sucks is IM NOT an only child.  I have siblings.. Where are they?  Nevermind, thats a different rant all together.